Welcome to Thanksgiving week, which raises the question: How do you turn it all off? You know, thinking about work, the fire hose of newsfeeds, emails and texts, constantly solving the never-ending puzzle of a job. I’ve asked other columnists this question, on this page and others, and to a person they smiled and said, “You don’t!”
Things requiring complete focus work for me: Playing basketball. Building an electric car. Skiing. But you can’t do these things 24/7. Recently, coming off a family wedding, my wife suggested we go on a wellness retreat. Being a red-blooded American male, I said “absolutely not.” We went.
The whole place had that classic spa smell—a mixture of lavender, eucalyptus and mugwort (I asked). I was informed the cucumber water was available only until 4:45 p.m. Not a problem. Everything had a spiritual twist to it. I noticed some people carrying Chopra-branded tote bags. Appropriate because Deepak Chopra personally—well, at a conference with a few hundred people—tried to teach me how to meditate. It didn’t take.
I’ve always been envious—well, not envious, more in awe—of those who could detach from real life with only their thoughts and meditation. Maybe this place could do that for me, and for what they charge a night, it better.
I figured I would spend my time sitting in a hot tub and watching football, my kind of wellness. Little did I know that I was signed up for a host of activities. Sadly, I slept through the morning “Intentions Ceremony,” which promised mindfulness and neuroplasticity. I was already behind. I intentionally skipped “Intentions Burning.” No need, I’ve burned many bridges with bad intentions in my life already.
Instead, I was off to “Floating Guided Relaxation”—more my speed.
